


To the Sound of the Sea

by SomethingDeep



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Little bit of angst, M/M, cas worries about dean's happiness, cuteness overload by the end, dean is a sarcastic shit in the face of the meaning of life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-17
Updated: 2014-11-17
Packaged: 2018-02-25 17:57:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2630909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomethingDeep/pseuds/SomethingDeep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean took a deep breath, inhaling through his nose and letting it out through his lips; tasting the salt-tinted air with a marvel he didn't realize he could manage any more. He felt lighter than he had in ages, lifted up somehow by such a small escape.</p><p>Man, the ocean was fucking awesome.</p><p>Lots of stargazing and admiring Cas' angelic side. Expect fluff</p>
            </blockquote>





	To the Sound of the Sea

The gentle sound of the tide filled the night air with a pleasent narration of ocean-side wilderness. It rose and fell; sweeping away at the clean, moonlit sand in the dark little waves of low tide. It was peaceful, it was quiet, and it was a long, long way from any cheap, dirty motel rooms. 

Dean took a deep breath, inhaling through his nose and letting it out through his lips; tasting the salt-tinted air with a marvel he didn't realize he could manage any more. He felt lighter than he had in ages, lifted up somehow by such a small escape. 

Man, the ocean was fucking awesome. 

Sitting cross-legged in the dark, Dean let his fingers trail nonsense patterns in the sand. He had never realized how soft sand was... it wasn't like he had spent much of his life sitting on a beach. It wasn't like he spent much of his life paying attention to small things like the softness of sand, or the way moonlight made the water look like glass, or how absolutely quiet and gentle Cas could be when he was at peace. 

And Dean knew he was at peace. 

It wasn't hard to tell that the angel sitting beside him, knees tucked up under his chin and blinking lazily at the stars, was no longer fighting the never ending battle inside himself. Not for the moment, anyway. Cas looked a lot smaller than he usually seemed, but somehow so much more infinite at the same time. Sitting there beside Dean in the summer night, he seemed the radiate a complexity the human had never felt from him before. It wasn't intimidating, or awe-striking, but simply there. 

And as Dean watched him, a dark silhouette against a darker backdrop, he realized that more than anything; it was beautiful. 

Dean shifted a little, stretching out his legs in the sand and enjoying the feeling of the sand wrapping around his bare toes. His shoes would be full of sand when he put them on to leave. Sam will hate him. A small sigh escaped him as he tried to find a way to get over how good it felt to have Cas beside him the way he was; all quiet and perfect in the moonlight.

"Dean?" 

It should have been like a shock in the dark to heard a sudden voice from a least an hour of silence since they had gotten there, but it wasn't. Castiel's gravelly voice floated in the air like it fit perfectly - and it did. 

"Yeah, Cas?" Dean turned to look at him again, but found the angel was still staring up at the sky in quiet thought; trench coat folded out around him on the sand without care. 

Cas didn't answer right away, but after a moment he took a deep breath and paused before, "Do you ever wonder about... anything?" Still he didn't turn to Dean, but blinked at the stars as his eyebrows pulled themselves together on his brow in one of the hunter's favorite frowns. 

"Uh..." Dean frowned too, and glanced up at the sky as if he could find what the angel was looking at - if it was something other than stars. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Castiel let out a little huff, but not out of annoyance. "Do you ever wonder wonder about all... this," letting go on one of his legs, he gestured to the moonbathed landscape around them. "This world you live in. Humans... you live your whole lives not knowing how things were made, why they exist, what happened to bring you to life... It's a miracle you don't go insane." He closed his eyes for a moment, as if imagining something, and then returned to star gazing. 

Dean shrugged and made a non committal noise. "I think some people do go insane not knowing." He said, picking up a handful of dry sand and letting it run between his fingers. "They don't know how to accept that they can't know, and they never will."

At this, Cas turned to look at Dean. He lifted his chin and his eyes, somehow blue even in the moonlight, settled on him gently. "Would you like to know, Dean?" There was a strange feeling behind his words, as if there was so much more behind them you could almost feel how far they went. It was offering the world to a child.

After a moment or two, Dean nodded and let a smile onto his face. Sometimes he forgot how his best friend happened to also know the secrets to the creation of the universe. 

Cas smiled back, the motion like a piece of pure beauty in the moon light. Dean's heart rose a little and he looked back down at the sand - as if afraid Cas might see him blush, even in the dark. 

"What would you like to know?" 

The question was like a million open doors and for a while it left Dean staggered on which way to go. He had never really cared about the whole 'meaning of life' deal, but tonight... tonight it seemed different. He was curious. Maybe because he was curious how much Cas really knew. 

Dean looked back over at him. "Okay, I got a question for you," he said. "Why in the world would God only bring girl guide cookies around twice a year?" He smirked as Cas squinted at him in the blank way that he had.

"I believe that the schedule of cookie selling is left to the girl guides and their organization. God is not directly involved." As usual, Castiel's answer was about as serious as possible. It was hard to imagine that this being, this angel, could have so much knowledge and wisdom but still fall victim to Dean's sarcasm. The hunter snorted and nodded. "Okay, okay, fair enough." He said, and another period of silence fell upon them so they could listen to the ocean again. 

It lasted longer than Dean thought it would, but he was still a little surprised when Cas spoke again. 

"What else would you like to know, Dean?" 

Dean looked back over at his friend and frowned just a little. There was something in his voice... the peace he had not so long ago wasn't quite there anymore. As if a thought had disturbed it. 

"I don't know, man. I never really thought about it before." 

"Dean you must want to know something."

"I really don't..."

"Dean."

He stopped. There was definitely something in the angel's voice. "What, Cas? What is it? Why are you so... like... this?" 

After blinking at him innocently for several moments, his friend's shoulders slumped beside him and Castiel took a deep breath as he tore his gaze away. He had been called out on it, even if he hadn't really been trying to hide it. "You're... human, Dean Winchester." 

The hunter nodded, but before he had time to say anything, Cas continued. "You feel things and you think things like every other human that's ever been made." He paused. "When a human has endured great trials, endured pain or suffering, they tend to question the world they live in even more. They... reach out, and try to touch something to reassure themselves that they're not alone."

Now Dean was quiet, waiting for him to continue. Cas looked over at him, blue eyes soft in the dark. "But you, Dean... Have you done that?" Again, before he could answer, Cas continued. "You haven't. You have come close, but you haven't. How? How did you do that?" The ocean filled a moment where the angel studied his human charge with unearthly understanding - or lack there of. Dean stared back, trying to figure out what was going on behind his eyes. Finally, after what seemed like forever, Cas tore his gaze away and instead looked out at the sea; at the waltzing waves stretching out before them both. He sighed heavily. 

"Out of all my brothers and sisters, I have been the one to watch humanity and connect with it. I have not always understood your ways, your souls, but I am getting better at it." He paused again, as if the next thought required a little more preparation. "I have also been the one to see your pain and... pity it. And always... always I see it stem from your little knowledge of your life. You have felt pain, Dean Winchester, far greater than most of humanity, and I wish... I wish I could... help you."

Dean was silent, watching Cas' face slowly change from blank to a weary frown and closed eyes as he spoke. It pulled at his heart and he swallowed at any reservations he may have had about answering. "You... don't need to help me, Cas. You've done a lot for me already. More than anyone else has ever done, except maybe Sammy." When the angel didn't reply, it finally hit Dean what he had been talking about. It made him take a breath thoughtfully. "This whole... 'meaning of life' conversation, it isn't going to..." but then he stopped. His eyes had found Cas' again, and Dean realized how much the angel just really wanted to help him. Telling Castiel that a heavenly Q&A wouldn't make him happier wasn't going to fix the problem. Cas figured Dean was part of humanity, and humanity's greatest sadness was it's inability to understand life. Cas had the power - the knowledge , rather - to cure it. He was offering it to Dean, because he wanted to fix the hunter so bad. 

Slightly, a smile quirked up the side of Dean's mouth and he huffed a laugh through his nose. "Ah, Cas..." Dean let himself down on to his elbows and then down on to his back. He stared up at the starlit heavens and yawned a little despite himself. It was late, after all. "What are stars made up of? And don't give me the science-y side, because I know that already."

Cas was quiet for a minute or so, and then crawled down beside Dean and gazed up with him quietly. "The stuff of angels." He said, voice barely above a whisper. "Life force and light."

"So stars are alive?"

"Not really. They are the materials used to build angels and souls." 

"I'm made up of a star?" Dean seemed a little taken aback and it was so extremely innocent, Cas smiled up into the sky. "Yes. That one, there." And the Cas reached up, coat sleeve pooling around his elbow, and pointed to a star nestled in among it's family off to their right, and the human wondered at it. 

"Huh. Which one are you?"

"That one."

"Sam?"

"Three to the left." 

"How about... Gabriel?" 

"The really small one over there. No, beside it. Look where I'm pointing. Yes. That one."

"Bobby?"

"There."

The night passed like this for hours, Dean asking questions and receiving answers from the mouth of God. The waves on the shoreline were like a lullaby after a while, their rythm making Dean's eyes heavy. Slowly they began to drift closed, and when they finally shut, Cas looked over and smiled again, quietly. Dean Winchester - the rightious man. The vessel of Michael. The knight of Hell. The human. So many titles for such a tired, scarred soul. Castiel looked back up to the heavens and closed his eyes. His Father may have left them, may have caused more pain than he'd even wanted, but he had also created Dean Winchester, and for that Castiel could never hate him.

In his sleep beside him, Dean shifted a little. Cas' eyes jumped open as his fingers were suddenly tugged into the human's - Dean's fingers twining around the angel's lovingly. He took a deep contented breath and continued to sleep, unaware of what he was done, but wanting to have done it for a long time now. 

Cas breathed a silent laugh and closed his eyes again. Finally. He had Dean back. It had taken so long to find him after he had raised his soul from perdition, and although Dean would never remember what they had, Castiel was content with what they could have now. Maybe... things might get better. 

Maybe.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm going to go die from sleep deprivation now...


End file.
